Housesharing has many advantages and in the Bay Area it can mean the difference between staying and moving to Keokuk, Iowa, or Asheville, NC. We moved to a house in the Oakland Hills in August and we've gained so much in comparison to the small loss of space and privacy. We moved from a one-bedroom apartment overlooking Lake Merritt to a smaller one-bedroom space where we share the kitchen in the house. The good thing about it is the kitchen has a beautiful commercial stove and refrigerator and a view of the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges. Last night the turquoise and burgundy sky at sunset was spectacular.
Other things we have gained include a dog named Tasha whose ability to "talk" comes from her mother, who is part wolf. Then there's the black and white cat, Zen, who I have taken to feeding and giving her thyroid pill twice daily. She now sleeps in a leopard cat bed I bought her on the landing between our two floors. There's a constant dance between Zen and Tasha, who wants to eat Zen's food and any other food for that matter that makes its way to the floor. Zen is a slow eater and she likes me to be standing by as she eats. A new form of meditation.
We have a deck off our space where we hang clothes to dry and admire the ever-changing view. We're raising some plants given to us by our housemate.
Last night the furnace went on as we were falling asleep. The problem is, the vent is right over our heads and when we try to close it, it sounds like a train roaring through a tunnel. Our place gets warm much more quickly than upstairs so we needed to adapt to the situation. We finally decided to just put our pillows at the bottom of the bed and sleep the other way. This is a lesson I have been learning from more left-brain thinkers. If something isn't working the way I'm doing it, try another way. It's amazing how many times I do that thing author Rita Brown says: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."
This doing it a different way worked for me recently when I was helping a friend reframe a picture. And when I figured out the problem with my Tivo. It makes me feel much more competent and less flakey when I persist and figure something out that used to baffle me. And it's often so simple. If I'm turning it to the right, turn it to the left. If I'm plugging it in here, plug it in there. I'm also learning that there's more than one right way to do things. My way isn't always right. In fact, one of the most helpful phrases for me when I'm hearing something that triggers me is, "You might be right." And believing it.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Gifts That Won't Become Clutter
My favorite organizing blog is written by Jeri Dansky (jdorganizer.com). I check it every day for original ideas and products. Today she shares a dozen gifts that are Earth-friendly and won't contribute to clutter. I'm going to join the No Shopping on the day after Thanksgiving movement this year. I have a job with a regular client that day so I will have to pay a toll to reach him, but hopefully that's the only money I'll spend tomorrow.
Ten things I am grateful for this year:
1. A new grandson, Liam Zachary, born to Jerry & Jessica in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
2. Moving to a beautiful house share in the Oakland hills with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, a dog named Tasha and a cat named Zen.
3. The partners my son and daughter have chosen.
4. My new MacBook Pro
5. Joining the Threshold Choir which sings to people who are ill or dying.
6. A trip to Asheville, NC, where we stayed with my favorite niece.
7. Tutoring in a friend's third grade class in East Oakland.
8. All my friends at the Ann Martin Center, where I worked until August.
9. Space For Grace and the clients who enrich my life.
10. My husband, John, who promised me life with him would never be dull. (And he kept his promise.)
And now...from Jeri Dansky --
12 Gifts That Won't Become Clutter
Many of us - and the people we get gifts for - already have many material things. Now, it may be that you know the person very well, and you know of something that would be perfect for that person. That's great! But sometimes we're buying for someone who is dear to us but whose taste we're less sure of - or someone who really doesn't seem to need any more stuff.
So here's a list of things to consider giving:
Membership at a museum or zoo
A gift certificate for a massage or a facial
A gift certificate for a feng shui consultation or house blessing
A gift certificate for a night at a B&B
A “gift certificate” for baby-sitting, car washing, etc.—any service you can provide that would be appreciated by the receiver
A book of pre-paid car wash coupons (my local car wash sells these)
A CD of favorite music (made legally)
Consumables such as food or wine (but consider dietary restrictions)
Interesting toothpaste: fennel or a choice of 30+ flavors (green tea, Japanese plum, etc.)
An emergency kit (if they don't have one)
A professional photograph of you (for your parents), of the person's pet, etc.
A donation to a cause the person cares about (not for everybody; some love it, some think it’s not a real gift)
And here are some items that often become clutter - so give them with caution:
Something cute—because cute wears off
Knick knacks
Specialty gadgets for the kitchen
Another item for the collection (if the collection is getting out of hand)
Toys—the average child gets about 70 toys per year
Clothes that might not fit, especially if returns are difficult; clothes in general if you’re not an expert in the colors, fabrics, and styles that work for the individual in question
Anything where you think "this will do" (rather than "this is perfect")
Ten things I am grateful for this year:
1. A new grandson, Liam Zachary, born to Jerry & Jessica in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
2. Moving to a beautiful house share in the Oakland hills with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, a dog named Tasha and a cat named Zen.
3. The partners my son and daughter have chosen.
4. My new MacBook Pro
5. Joining the Threshold Choir which sings to people who are ill or dying.
6. A trip to Asheville, NC, where we stayed with my favorite niece.
7. Tutoring in a friend's third grade class in East Oakland.
8. All my friends at the Ann Martin Center, where I worked until August.
9. Space For Grace and the clients who enrich my life.
10. My husband, John, who promised me life with him would never be dull. (And he kept his promise.)
And now...from Jeri Dansky --
12 Gifts That Won't Become Clutter
Many of us - and the people we get gifts for - already have many material things. Now, it may be that you know the person very well, and you know of something that would be perfect for that person. That's great! But sometimes we're buying for someone who is dear to us but whose taste we're less sure of - or someone who really doesn't seem to need any more stuff.
So here's a list of things to consider giving:
Membership at a museum or zoo
A gift certificate for a massage or a facial
A gift certificate for a feng shui consultation or house blessing
A gift certificate for a night at a B&B
A “gift certificate” for baby-sitting, car washing, etc.—any service you can provide that would be appreciated by the receiver
A book of pre-paid car wash coupons (my local car wash sells these)
A CD of favorite music (made legally)
Consumables such as food or wine (but consider dietary restrictions)
Interesting toothpaste: fennel or a choice of 30+ flavors (green tea, Japanese plum, etc.)
An emergency kit (if they don't have one)
A professional photograph of you (for your parents), of the person's pet, etc.
A donation to a cause the person cares about (not for everybody; some love it, some think it’s not a real gift)
And here are some items that often become clutter - so give them with caution:
Something cute—because cute wears off
Knick knacks
Specialty gadgets for the kitchen
Another item for the collection (if the collection is getting out of hand)
Toys—the average child gets about 70 toys per year
Clothes that might not fit, especially if returns are difficult; clothes in general if you’re not an expert in the colors, fabrics, and styles that work for the individual in question
Anything where you think "this will do" (rather than "this is perfect")
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
All Those Children and Curious George
It was nearly Thanksgiving 28 years ago when my best friend from high school was talking to her mother about a friend of theirs who was recently divorced and lonely. My friend suggested that her mother fix him up with me -- also recently divorced, but determined to wait five years until I got married again. We both got an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner, but both had other plans. When Jan's mom called and told me John "would like to get to know you better," I was interested. But she offered a caveat. "The only reason I'm hesitant about being matchmaker is all those children," she said. "How many?" I asked, remembering how kind he had seemed at a dinner party where we had been seated next to each other. "Six," she said. That didn't worry me at the time and we were married two months after our first date in the living room of our matchmaker, with a heavy snow falling outside. One of John's six children couldn't make it to the ceremony because he was in the hospital having an emergency appendectomy. We stopped by to see him before the wedding and he wished us well.
Just last week, the 17th grandchild arrived. That joyous news was followed by the sad phone call telling us that another grandchild, 14 months old, had just been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. I remembered my friend's worry about all those children, but I see them as a rich blessing, embracing the good and the sad. Another grandson just recovered from a bout with a nasty staph infection. This grandson has three daughters and his sister also has three girls -- so that means six great-granddaughters have been added to the family. Our reunions, though not frequent enough, are filled with joy. We have grandchildren who play soccer, trombone, water polo, some who cook, do physical therapy, weld, swim. We have a cheerleader, an actor, water skiers and writers.
I am thankful on the eve of this Thanksgiving to have our five-year-old grandson here watching Curious George and eating pizza. We took him to the Chabot Space Center to see a film about astronauts because he was interested in becoming one. After seeing all the dangers astronauts face, he whispered to his grandfather, "This looks too dangerous. I'm going to stay on Earth." Tomorrow we'll drive him home and share a feast with his two brothers, his Mom & Dad, my son and his girlfriend, who is making pistachio brittle, and my daughter and her new boyfriend. I am so thankful for my matchmaker.
Just last week, the 17th grandchild arrived. That joyous news was followed by the sad phone call telling us that another grandchild, 14 months old, had just been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. I remembered my friend's worry about all those children, but I see them as a rich blessing, embracing the good and the sad. Another grandson just recovered from a bout with a nasty staph infection. This grandson has three daughters and his sister also has three girls -- so that means six great-granddaughters have been added to the family. Our reunions, though not frequent enough, are filled with joy. We have grandchildren who play soccer, trombone, water polo, some who cook, do physical therapy, weld, swim. We have a cheerleader, an actor, water skiers and writers.
I am thankful on the eve of this Thanksgiving to have our five-year-old grandson here watching Curious George and eating pizza. We took him to the Chabot Space Center to see a film about astronauts because he was interested in becoming one. After seeing all the dangers astronauts face, he whispered to his grandfather, "This looks too dangerous. I'm going to stay on Earth." Tomorrow we'll drive him home and share a feast with his two brothers, his Mom & Dad, my son and his girlfriend, who is making pistachio brittle, and my daughter and her new boyfriend. I am so thankful for my matchmaker.
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