Four Things About Organizing

I received an e-mail from a friend today with the subject line "Four Things." It asked me to list four places I go regularly, four favorite places to eat, four places I'd rather be and four tv shows I never miss. Then send it back to her and forward it to other friends. I did it and picked a few people who regularly send me these kinds of things. It got me thinking about my four favorite things about organizing that I've learned from reading way more than four books on the subject.

The first that came to mind was Peter Walsh's line: It's not about the clutter. That's so true. When I work with someone who wants to clear the clutter to create space and conquer the overwhelm it's not about buying the perfect containers or over-the-door shoebag or shelf or rack. It's truly about having a vision for your space and focusing on that. Walsh says to look beyond the stuff and imagine the life you want to live.

How did all that stuff get there in the first place. Inherited? Gifts from special people that are never used or even liked? Might need it someday? Protection? Reminder of the past? It needs the perfect home? Once someone has really decided that a clear space is more important than any of these things, the job is much easier.

The second principle is David Allen's Getting Things Done which involves writing everything, and I mean everything, down that is currently running around in your head and keeping you awake at 4 am. All the errands, phone calls to make, faxes, e-mails to return, projects, appointments, someday/maybe ideas. Getting it all out of your head and onto paper provides a sense of ease. These things can be grouped by context and translated into actions. Deciding what needs to be done next is a big part of the system. Visiting the list often and taking those actions is also necessary. And it's amazing how much progress you can make.

The third great plan comes from the book Apartment Therapy: the eight-step home cure. Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan uses the outbox idea, an area that can be a corner of a room, to put things you are considering getting rid of. Ask yourself: Do I use it? Do I love it? Does my apartment need it? When you get the room the way you like it, you can decide if there's something in the outbox you want to put back in but chances are you'll be so delighted with the new space, things will go out the door to a new, good home.

Four. Karen Kingston's book on the feng shui of clutter taught me about the flow of energy that is released when clutter is cleared. It's worth a try to see if you feel the difference. For me, I slept better when there was nothing under the bed. She says that clutter is stuck energy that has far-reaching effects physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Clutter clearing and limiting what you bring in allows you to create space for what you truly want in your life. And that is space for grace.

Monkey Love

My last birthday was a quiet celebration because it wasn't what they call a "bigi yari" in Suriname, where I celebrated my 58th birthday. It was dinner at an elegant College Avenue restaurant with my husband, son, daughter and her boyfriend. What I loved about it was that they wanted to be with me and the special gifts I received. I had mentioned to my son awhile ago that I had spotted Zippy, the stuffed monkey I was so attached to as a child, on EBay but he cost too much. So he surprised me with the stuffed animal and the perfect card. My daughter gave me watercolor supplies, a jigsaw puzzle and two of my favorite candy bars. The fact that they know exactly what pleases me makes me very happy. I love their creativity and observation of what brings me joy.

But more than the gifts, I am grateful for their presence in my life. I appreciate my son's steadiness, quick mind and sense of humor. I also appreciate that when Sydney, the orange cat that belonged first to my daughter, then to us, needed a home, he welcomed her in. She is devoted to him and he to her. My daughter rescues dogs. Lots of dogs. Two that live with her on a regular basis are Julio and Daisy. Julio came along after her last dog, L'il Guy, a feisty white chihuahua, died. He was the one that was a runner-up in the licking contest at a local pet store and he would have done well even without the peanut butter that owners put on their faces to help the dogs along. There are other dogs that somehow show up in her life that she finds homes for.

That's something I most love about my children. Their kindness and generosity. And the way they want to be with me.

Retirement or Refirement?

I celebrated my husband's retirement last week by presenting him with my grandfather's gold watch. I told him I was giving it to him in recognition and gratitude for his long career. He started working when he was 10 years old and he is about to celebrate his 71st birthday. That's a long career. His first job was as a newspaper carrier in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. He was a pinsetter at a bowling alley and a bagger at a grocery store. But his real work life started at the age of 19 when he talked his way into a job at a newspaper as a sports reporter. To get the job, he had to lie a little, saying he was 21 and he knew how to type. He got the job and over the week before he started, he got the son of his landlord (a lawyer who had recommended him for the job) to teach him how to type with his high school typing book. He is still a faster typist than I am.

From sports writer, he moved up the ranks and eventually was named publisher of a paper in California. I was lucky enough to work with him at two of the papers he led, where he taught me how to become a lifestyles editor. With his tutoring, I became a columnist and won a few prizes for articles he assigned me. I know what a good boss he was and how much affection those who worked for him felt towards him. It was something about how he treated everyone, from the janitor named H to the owner of the newspaper, with equal respect. And about how he encouraged the best in us and inspired enthusiasm and joy in the job we were doing.

The newspaper business has been changing over the years and in 1995 he segued into the university marketing field. While he was director of marketing at Holy Names University, he earned a master's degree in spirituality and was the oldest graduate last summer. Last Friday marked his last official day of working nine to five. I've worried that it would be difficult for him after so many years of identifying with his job, but the first week I've only seen him relax more and more. He'll be doing freelance work editing a newsletter for a Marin County senior center (he's already meeting with people to cook up interesting articles) and he'll find a place to volunteer, develop some short story ideas and spend more time with his grandchildren. I'm looking forward to this next phase of our lives to see what contributions he makes as he brings his joy and respect for others into new arenas.