When I moved to this beautiful house share, one of the unexpected benefits was a serene, older black and white cat named Zen. We bonded quickly and I soon asked if I could take over as the designated feeder. My housemate also has a German Shepherd named Tasha who keeps her busy.
Zen had a thyroid tumor so I ground up a pill twice a day and stirred it into her food. She was a finicky eater, so I sometimes drizzled tuna juice over the prescription cat food we bought at the vet's for her. I discovered that she liked to have me stand over her to watch her eat. If I walked away, she walked away from the bowl. I wanted her to eat ... so I started a daily meditation by the food dish. Sometimes I sat at the breakfast table with my morning paper when I thought she was finished, but if she still wanted food, she came over and tapped me on the arm with her paw. Persistently. This was the only time she tapped so I knew it was about food. She often was waiting at my door in the morning if I didn't get up early enough to feed her.
The other challenge with feeding Zen was that Tasha very much liked her food. Well, she likes any food. But she would quickly gulp the cat food down if Zen walked away for a minute. I resorted to building a barricade out of chairs when Zen was at her eating post. She started eating less and less and her stuffy nose became chronic and seemed to kill her appetite, so we took her to the vet to see if something could be done for her. The vet discovered another tumor, and this one seemed to be growing. Feeding became even more of a meditation. Then one day, she stopped eating altogether and we knew the end was coming.
By now she was spending most of her time in a basket with a heating pad and that seemed to bring her some comfort. Her owner and I agreed that she was in pain and wasn't getting better and it was time to put her to sleep. The vet had already advised this. We took her on a Saturday afternoon, wrapped in her favorite blanket. She was quiet and seemed to almost know something was happening. We had all spent quiet time saying goodbye to her but it was wrenching as we sat holding her in the waiting room.
When we came home, the house felt very empty. Her quiet spirit was gone, but I kept looking for her under the table, in her favorite chair and in the basket before I remembered. I still miss her and I'm grateful that my housemate was willing to share this sweet creature with me for our short time together.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Opting Out of Catalog Mail
When I was in my 30s, I lived a very different life than I am living now. I had two small children, a husband who worked in his family's insurance company and I belonged to a country club. It's hard for me to imagine today. One of the activities the country club moms engaged in while watching the kids in the swimming pool was to thumb through catalogs. I lived in a small town in Illinois and going to the city meant a long drive to Chicago, a city that overwhelmed me with its traffic and so many people.
Today my city is San Francisco, my kids are grown and happy, my new husband (of 28 years) is a former journalist, fervent feminist, college basketball fanatic and good cook. We wouldn't think of belonging to a country club. We're into voluntary simplicity. And as an organizer, I help people get rid of those ubiquitous catalogs that keep coming. (Visit catalogchoice.org to opt out of as many as you'd like at one time. It's a joint project of environmental organizations that include the Ecology Center in Berkeley.)
I was fantasizing about what a catalog might offer if it wasn't trying to seduce us into buying things we don't need, spending money we don't have and feeling badly about ourselves if we don't have all the stuff on those glossy pages. I don't think we realize how much we are affected by the bombardment of advertising. I was on the way to pick up my husband at work for a home-cooked meal when I heard one phrase on the radio -- Big Vinnie -- and the car detoured itself to Round Table for a pepperoni pizza. Honestly. I know that shows lack of control on my part, but it also illustrates the strength of branding on our purchasing habits. Can you see a red circle and not think of Target?
Anyway, I would love a catalog that offers free classes for boomers to increase the plasticity of their brains. Classes like "How to Play the Ukelele," "How to Learn to Juggle," "How to Figure Out How to Set Up the DVD/Fax/Scanner etc," "How to Keep Up with the Latest Trends on the Internet," "How to Find Old Friends," "How to Trace Your Ancestors," "How to Read Music," "How to Solve the Homeless Problem," or health or peace or planet problem. You get the idea. On the bright side, I just successfully completed my first Sudoku puzzle in the Chronicle. Right after I did the crossword puzzle. Thursday's my favorite right now.
Possibly with the growth of the Internet, catalogs will become a thing of the past, just like my country club days. Newspapers are certainly going that way. Young people mostly get their news from the Internet and I think it's only those of us who have the newspaper habit who still cling to that format. Things are changing and I need to be resiliant and embrace the changes. But I think I'll stick to my Chronicle crossword puzzle awhile longer.
Today my city is San Francisco, my kids are grown and happy, my new husband (of 28 years) is a former journalist, fervent feminist, college basketball fanatic and good cook. We wouldn't think of belonging to a country club. We're into voluntary simplicity. And as an organizer, I help people get rid of those ubiquitous catalogs that keep coming. (Visit catalogchoice.org to opt out of as many as you'd like at one time. It's a joint project of environmental organizations that include the Ecology Center in Berkeley.)
I was fantasizing about what a catalog might offer if it wasn't trying to seduce us into buying things we don't need, spending money we don't have and feeling badly about ourselves if we don't have all the stuff on those glossy pages. I don't think we realize how much we are affected by the bombardment of advertising. I was on the way to pick up my husband at work for a home-cooked meal when I heard one phrase on the radio -- Big Vinnie -- and the car detoured itself to Round Table for a pepperoni pizza. Honestly. I know that shows lack of control on my part, but it also illustrates the strength of branding on our purchasing habits. Can you see a red circle and not think of Target?
Anyway, I would love a catalog that offers free classes for boomers to increase the plasticity of their brains. Classes like "How to Play the Ukelele," "How to Learn to Juggle," "How to Figure Out How to Set Up the DVD/Fax/Scanner etc," "How to Keep Up with the Latest Trends on the Internet," "How to Find Old Friends," "How to Trace Your Ancestors," "How to Read Music," "How to Solve the Homeless Problem," or health or peace or planet problem. You get the idea. On the bright side, I just successfully completed my first Sudoku puzzle in the Chronicle. Right after I did the crossword puzzle. Thursday's my favorite right now.
Possibly with the growth of the Internet, catalogs will become a thing of the past, just like my country club days. Newspapers are certainly going that way. Young people mostly get their news from the Internet and I think it's only those of us who have the newspaper habit who still cling to that format. Things are changing and I need to be resiliant and embrace the changes. But I think I'll stick to my Chronicle crossword puzzle awhile longer.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Reasons to Get Organized Now
This is the first blog of the new year and I'm thinking of good reasons to get organized now. For one, there's the safety issue. If things have gotten a little out of control, getting organized will reduce risks for falls, will help eliminate germs and make it easier to find your exercise gear.
According to an article in the New York Times, many people think getting organized means buying the right storage containers, when the reality is that what is needed is to change your behavior. Some of the issues that contribute to the difficulty of getting organized include grief, chronic pain and depression. Some people even find it painful to part with any of their possessions. This can happen when people don't discriminate among their possessions but see them all as unique and a treasure. Sometimes they need help learning how to group, set priorities and discard to create a more harmonious space.
Peter Walsh, author of It's All Too Much, recommends playing the two bag tango game. Every day, fill one trash bag with trash and one with things to give away or sell. (And put out the trash and give away the items!) This is a gradual way to create more space and get more used to letting go of some things. Walsh recommends starting by getting a vision of how you want your home to look and then ask yourself, "Does this contribute to my vision or detract from it?"
I just worked with my daughter to create more order in her home and we had success by dividing the project up into zones -- top dresser drawer in her bedroom, junk drawer in the kitchen, bookshelves in the living room ... you get the picture. We tackled the projects one by one and she was much less overwhelmed and got more done than she expected to in one session.
So getting organized can lead to a safer, more comfortable environment and one where you will be free to pursue those creative projects you might not have had the energy to pursue while distracted by clutter.
According to an article in the New York Times, many people think getting organized means buying the right storage containers, when the reality is that what is needed is to change your behavior. Some of the issues that contribute to the difficulty of getting organized include grief, chronic pain and depression. Some people even find it painful to part with any of their possessions. This can happen when people don't discriminate among their possessions but see them all as unique and a treasure. Sometimes they need help learning how to group, set priorities and discard to create a more harmonious space.
Peter Walsh, author of It's All Too Much, recommends playing the two bag tango game. Every day, fill one trash bag with trash and one with things to give away or sell. (And put out the trash and give away the items!) This is a gradual way to create more space and get more used to letting go of some things. Walsh recommends starting by getting a vision of how you want your home to look and then ask yourself, "Does this contribute to my vision or detract from it?"
I just worked with my daughter to create more order in her home and we had success by dividing the project up into zones -- top dresser drawer in her bedroom, junk drawer in the kitchen, bookshelves in the living room ... you get the picture. We tackled the projects one by one and she was much less overwhelmed and got more done than she expected to in one session.
So getting organized can lead to a safer, more comfortable environment and one where you will be free to pursue those creative projects you might not have had the energy to pursue while distracted by clutter.
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