What are the Bare Essentials?

I just read a blog about a man who lives in the trailer of the semi he drives. All of his belongings were listed and it's a short list. I live in fairly small space, but have way more than he does. Oprah just had a show about asking people to live with less for a week: no TV except an hour a day; no computer except for homework; no eating out ... It wasn't easy for the two families chosen for the challenge as you can imagine. But after the initial resistance, rebellion, anger and boredom, they seemed to settle into it and ended feeling grateful for the new closeness and appreciation for each other that developed.

I remember what it was like growing up without a computer. I can even remember what it was like when we bought our first TV and watching the test pattern on Saturday mornings before the regular programming began. I remember a time before video games and cell phones and even faxes and answering machines. Wow, I sound like an old person.

But life really was simpler then. We played board games and played outside every day, all day. Anyone remember Uncle Wiggly, Clue, Sorry, Cootie?! Monopoly was way too competitive for me although I loved those little hotels. People got together and played charades and going to the movies was a big deal. Eating out was a very special occasion until I became a teenager, then going to a hamburger drive-in was pretty common, even a ritual among my friends. Having two cars was unusual and the only time we got new clothes was when something was totally worn out or during back to school days. My mother insisted our family of five sit down to dinner together, even after the advent of TV trays. She had this vision of us all sitting around discussing our days, but most often it deteriorated into kicking under the table and remarks about my brother getting a haircut. She did try though and I do know which fork to use and to keep my elbows off the table.

So I think about what I would take with me if I moved into the trailer of a semi. I could get by with a few good clothes: a pair of jeans, a pair of black slacks, a few interesting tops, a warm coat, one pair of comfortable shoes. I would need to have my computer, a cell phone, good light, a healthy plant, someplace really comfortable to sleep. Three or four interesting books. It sounds strange, I know, but I'd have an altar with special objects and family pictures. I guess I wouldn't be happy in a semi trailer really, but it's nice to think about what I can do without and to be more conscious of all my stuff.

Do You Yearn for More Simplicity?

Here is an article from thirdage.com that describes ways to simplify your life. Third Age is a website for baby boomers. I've long been interested in voluntary simplicity and I think this article explains it in a very, well, simple way.

What Is Simplicity?

Making changes to simplify certain aspects of life can be the antidote to living in such a complex society. But simplification is a very individual matter—what's considered simple and stress-relieving to one person might be burdensome and stressful to another. For example, you may eat convenience foods because they save you time and energy. Your friend, on the other hand, may find convenience foods expensive and rather "inconvenient" for her family food budget.

The most important part of the simplification process is introspection—taking an honest and in-depth look at yourself and your life and then identifying things that can be changed. Simple enough? Yes and no. That is, some changes can be relatively easy to make. You may decide to unclutter your house by throwing out items that you really don't need and scaling back on your consumption. On the other hand, you may find that you need a major overhaul to find a simpler life—a change of career or financial goals, a geographical relocation, or a change in perception through intensive psychotherapy.

What makes the concept of simplification difficult for some people is that it implies that you must give up something. But many people derive invaluable benefits from simplifying their lives—more time, freedom, self-expression, and a chance to live with more clarity and meaning. Simplification is a deeply personal endeavor and should be approached with the following things in mind:

* Values/Priorities. What is most important to you? What would you have the hardest time living without—your health, spouse, family, friends, time, creative projects? (This can be a tricky one. For example, you may say that you value money, but by looking deeper within yourself, you may find that what you really value is freedom, self-reliance, time, friends, or self-esteem, which you think money will buy for you).
* Identity. Who are you? What talents, skills, activities, and types of environments bring you the most enjoyment? Are you living authentically—speaking your truth and living according to your own values (values that you've examined and owned) or someone else's?
* Time/Pace. How do you manage time and pace yourself? Is your natural pace 100 miles per hour or a bit slower and more reflective? Examine your current pace and your energy levels. If you're feeling exhausted or burned out, you may need to slow down, or at least change where you are focusing the majority of your energy.
* Purpose. What do you most want to do with your life and are you doing that right now? How do you wish to direct your talents? Are you living purposefully?
* Vision. What is your ideal lifestyle and environment? What would your life look like if you could design it exactly the way you wanted? You can't always "have it all," but think about how close you can get to that vision now, realistically.

Ways to Simplify Your Life

The list of things you can do to simplify your life is probably endless. Big changes will require a good deal of thought and planning. But there are many small changes you can make to simplify your life right now, such as:

* Buy a simple car—one that has fewer gadgets to fix.
* Do your shopping all at once, and preferably in the same place.
* Reduce the clutter in your home and office. Throw out things that you don't use.
* Buy classic clothes that don't go out of style.
* Donate your dry cleanables.
* Shop during off-hours.
* Get a simple, low-maintenance hairstyle.
* Downscale to a smaller home or less expensive car.
* Find a way to turn your hobby into your primary source of income.
* Make a conscious effort to reflect upon and appreciate the simple things in your life—those things that you may be taking for granted.

Simplifying your life isn't always simple, but something as easy as getting more organized can be a big help. As some of the complexity decreases from your life, you may find greater clarity and peace of mind.

RESOURCES:

National Institute of Mental Health
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/

National Mental Health Association
http://www.nmha.org

References:

Adams C. The Circle of Simplicity: Return to the Good Life. Harpercollins; 1998.

Aumiller G. Keeping It Simple: Sorting Out What Really Matters in Your Life. Probity Press; 1995.

Orem S, Demarest L. Living Simply: Timeless Thoughts for A Balanced Life Health Communications, Inc; 1994

St. James E. Living the Simple Life: A Guide to Scaling Down and Enjoying More. Hyperion; 1998.

Simplifying the Holidays

Some tips from the Center for a New American Dream (www.newdream.org) around the holidays.

Have a cookie swap. Six friends who each make six dozen of the same kind of cookie can meet for coffee and go home with a dozen of each kind.

Frame a picture of the family home. Send it to distant friends and relatives who can't make it home this year.

Take a friend off junk mail. Generate automatic forms with your recipient's name and address at www.newdream.org/junkmail to reduce unwanted mail by 50%. Present the forms in stamped, addressed envelopes ready to sign and mail.

Make an emergency kit for the car. Create a gift basket with a blanket, flashlight, gas can, jumper cables and flares.

Make a donation in someone's name. Heifer International is one great recipient. Buy a village a goat!

Give the gift of reconnection. Call an estranged friend or write a letter to someone you haven't seen in a few years.

Share the love of reading. Give away the last great book you bought and enjoyed to someone who shares your taste.

Storytelling is a powerful way to preserve family memories, especially if you exaggerate a few details for posterity.

Designate an amount of money to donate and let your kids pick the charity.

Give a gift of kindness: shovel snow for an elderly neighbor, leave potted flowers or herbs anonymously on a friend's doorstep, clean the cat box without being asked!

Scaling back at the holidays takes an extra effort at first, but it can be deeply rewarding, leaving more time for friends, faith or just some self-care.

Gifts That Won't Become Clutter

My favorite organizing blog is written by Jeri Dansky (jdorganizer.com). I check it every day for original ideas and products. Today she shares a dozen gifts that are Earth-friendly and won't contribute to clutter. I'm going to join the No Shopping on the day after Thanksgiving movement this year. I have a job with a regular client that day so I will have to pay a toll to reach him, but hopefully that's the only money I'll spend tomorrow.

Ten things I am grateful for this year:

1. A new grandson, Liam Zachary, born to Jerry & Jessica in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
2. Moving to a beautiful house share in the Oakland hills with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, a dog named Tasha and a cat named Zen.
3. The partners my son and daughter have chosen.
4. My new MacBook Pro
5. Joining the Threshold Choir which sings to people who are ill or dying.
6. A trip to Asheville, NC, where we stayed with my favorite niece.
7. Tutoring in a friend's third grade class in East Oakland.
8. All my friends at the Ann Martin Center, where I worked until August.
9. Space For Grace and the clients who enrich my life.
10. My husband, John, who promised me life with him would never be dull. (And he kept his promise.)

And now...from Jeri Dansky --

12 Gifts That Won't Become Clutter

Many of us - and the people we get gifts for - already have many material things. Now, it may be that you know the person very well, and you know of something that would be perfect for that person. That's great! But sometimes we're buying for someone who is dear to us but whose taste we're less sure of - or someone who really doesn't seem to need any more stuff.

So here's a list of things to consider giving:

Membership at a museum or zoo
A gift certificate for a massage or a facial
A gift certificate for a feng shui consultation or house blessing
A gift certificate for a night at a B&B
A “gift certificate” for baby-sitting, car washing, etc.—any service you can provide that would be appreciated by the receiver
A book of pre-paid car wash coupons (my local car wash sells these)
A CD of favorite music (made legally)
Consumables such as food or wine (but consider dietary restrictions)
Interesting toothpaste: fennel or a choice of 30+ flavors (green tea, Japanese plum, etc.)
An emergency kit (if they don't have one)
A professional photograph of you (for your parents), of the person's pet, etc.
A donation to a cause the person cares about (not for everybody; some love it, some think it’s not a real gift)


And here are some items that often become clutter - so give them with caution:

Something cute—because cute wears off
Knick knacks
Specialty gadgets for the kitchen
Another item for the collection (if the collection is getting out of hand)
Toys—the average child gets about 70 toys per year
Clothes that might not fit, especially if returns are difficult; clothes in general if you’re not an expert in the colors, fabrics, and styles that work for the individual in question
Anything where you think "this will do" (rather than "this is perfect")