Do You Yearn for More Simplicity?

Here is an article from thirdage.com that describes ways to simplify your life. Third Age is a website for baby boomers. I've long been interested in voluntary simplicity and I think this article explains it in a very, well, simple way.

What Is Simplicity?

Making changes to simplify certain aspects of life can be the antidote to living in such a complex society. But simplification is a very individual matter—what's considered simple and stress-relieving to one person might be burdensome and stressful to another. For example, you may eat convenience foods because they save you time and energy. Your friend, on the other hand, may find convenience foods expensive and rather "inconvenient" for her family food budget.

The most important part of the simplification process is introspection—taking an honest and in-depth look at yourself and your life and then identifying things that can be changed. Simple enough? Yes and no. That is, some changes can be relatively easy to make. You may decide to unclutter your house by throwing out items that you really don't need and scaling back on your consumption. On the other hand, you may find that you need a major overhaul to find a simpler life—a change of career or financial goals, a geographical relocation, or a change in perception through intensive psychotherapy.

What makes the concept of simplification difficult for some people is that it implies that you must give up something. But many people derive invaluable benefits from simplifying their lives—more time, freedom, self-expression, and a chance to live with more clarity and meaning. Simplification is a deeply personal endeavor and should be approached with the following things in mind:

* Values/Priorities. What is most important to you? What would you have the hardest time living without—your health, spouse, family, friends, time, creative projects? (This can be a tricky one. For example, you may say that you value money, but by looking deeper within yourself, you may find that what you really value is freedom, self-reliance, time, friends, or self-esteem, which you think money will buy for you).
* Identity. Who are you? What talents, skills, activities, and types of environments bring you the most enjoyment? Are you living authentically—speaking your truth and living according to your own values (values that you've examined and owned) or someone else's?
* Time/Pace. How do you manage time and pace yourself? Is your natural pace 100 miles per hour or a bit slower and more reflective? Examine your current pace and your energy levels. If you're feeling exhausted or burned out, you may need to slow down, or at least change where you are focusing the majority of your energy.
* Purpose. What do you most want to do with your life and are you doing that right now? How do you wish to direct your talents? Are you living purposefully?
* Vision. What is your ideal lifestyle and environment? What would your life look like if you could design it exactly the way you wanted? You can't always "have it all," but think about how close you can get to that vision now, realistically.

Ways to Simplify Your Life

The list of things you can do to simplify your life is probably endless. Big changes will require a good deal of thought and planning. But there are many small changes you can make to simplify your life right now, such as:

* Buy a simple car—one that has fewer gadgets to fix.
* Do your shopping all at once, and preferably in the same place.
* Reduce the clutter in your home and office. Throw out things that you don't use.
* Buy classic clothes that don't go out of style.
* Donate your dry cleanables.
* Shop during off-hours.
* Get a simple, low-maintenance hairstyle.
* Downscale to a smaller home or less expensive car.
* Find a way to turn your hobby into your primary source of income.
* Make a conscious effort to reflect upon and appreciate the simple things in your life—those things that you may be taking for granted.

Simplifying your life isn't always simple, but something as easy as getting more organized can be a big help. As some of the complexity decreases from your life, you may find greater clarity and peace of mind.

RESOURCES:

National Institute of Mental Health
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/

National Mental Health Association
http://www.nmha.org

References:

Adams C. The Circle of Simplicity: Return to the Good Life. Harpercollins; 1998.

Aumiller G. Keeping It Simple: Sorting Out What Really Matters in Your Life. Probity Press; 1995.

Orem S, Demarest L. Living Simply: Timeless Thoughts for A Balanced Life Health Communications, Inc; 1994

St. James E. Living the Simple Life: A Guide to Scaling Down and Enjoying More. Hyperion; 1998.

Sock Monkeys

I'm putting my faith in sock monkeys. I've had two for about 25 years. I've never named them but they have little sweaters and one wears my sorority pin. When my five-year-old grandson came to spend the night Thanksgiving Eve, he brought his sock monkey, Henry, along. It's something that transcends age. When I was a child, I was convinced that my stuffed animal collection talked to each other after I fell asleep. And I still believe they might.

Sock monkeys were originally manufactured out of work socks in a factory in Rockford, IL. I don't know what it is, but there's something very magical about them. They have partially filled the void created when my children left home. Not that I put them in an infant seat and take them grocery shopping (like childless friends of ours did with their teddy bears), but I do know that as much as I simplify and give things away, I will never let go of these old friends.

I'm taking One to One lessons at the Mac store in Emeryville and I learned about photos today. So I wanted to share this portrait. I'm counting on Henry and my sock monkeys to accompany my courageous grandson on his journey to healing.

I'm Learning About Faith

At my last dream group, one of our members suggested a good way to check in and catch up after several months of not meeting. He asked us to share three or four things we could tell the group about, without actually saying too much. So my share was something like this.

I could tell you about the inside of the Stanford Hospital Pediatric unit where our 5-year-old grandson was diagnosed with an aggressive form of lymphoma. And I could tell you about the many people whose prayers, I think, helped him respond so well to the chemo.

I could tell you about having to wait seven years (2 of treatment and 5 more) to see if we can call him cured.

I could tell you about the Solstice gathering we attended where a group of friends and strangers laid down pine boughs in a labyrinth illuminated by candlelight.

I could tell you about the wild turkeys that paraded through our friends backyard during the Super Bowl party and how the sun turned their feathers iridescent.

I could tell you what I'm learning about faith and how it turns fear to love.

The House is Empty Without Zen

When I moved to this beautiful house share, one of the unexpected benefits was a serene, older black and white cat named Zen. We bonded quickly and I soon asked if I could take over as the designated feeder. My housemate also has a German Shepherd named Tasha who keeps her busy.

Zen had a thyroid tumor so I ground up a pill twice a day and stirred it into her food. She was a finicky eater, so I sometimes drizzled tuna juice over the prescription cat food we bought at the vet's for her. I discovered that she liked to have me stand over her to watch her eat. If I walked away, she walked away from the bowl. I wanted her to eat ... so I started a daily meditation by the food dish. Sometimes I sat at the breakfast table with my morning paper when I thought she was finished, but if she still wanted food, she came over and tapped me on the arm with her paw. Persistently. This was the only time she tapped so I knew it was about food. She often was waiting at my door in the morning if I didn't get up early enough to feed her.

The other challenge with feeding Zen was that Tasha very much liked her food. Well, she likes any food. But she would quickly gulp the cat food down if Zen walked away for a minute. I resorted to building a barricade out of chairs when Zen was at her eating post. She started eating less and less and her stuffy nose became chronic and seemed to kill her appetite, so we took her to the vet to see if something could be done for her. The vet discovered another tumor, and this one seemed to be growing. Feeding became even more of a meditation. Then one day, she stopped eating altogether and we knew the end was coming.

By now she was spending most of her time in a basket with a heating pad and that seemed to bring her some comfort. Her owner and I agreed that she was in pain and wasn't getting better and it was time to put her to sleep. The vet had already advised this. We took her on a Saturday afternoon, wrapped in her favorite blanket. She was quiet and seemed to almost know something was happening. We had all spent quiet time saying goodbye to her but it was wrenching as we sat holding her in the waiting room.

When we came home, the house felt very empty. Her quiet spirit was gone, but I kept looking for her under the table, in her favorite chair and in the basket before I remembered. I still miss her and I'm grateful that my housemate was willing to share this sweet creature with me for our short time together.

Opting Out of Catalog Mail

When I was in my 30s, I lived a very different life than I am living now. I had two small children, a husband who worked in his family's insurance company and I belonged to a country club. It's hard for me to imagine today. One of the activities the country club moms engaged in while watching the kids in the swimming pool was to thumb through catalogs. I lived in a small town in Illinois and going to the city meant a long drive to Chicago, a city that overwhelmed me with its traffic and so many people.

Today my city is San Francisco, my kids are grown and happy, my new husband (of 28 years) is a former journalist, fervent feminist, college basketball fanatic and good cook. We wouldn't think of belonging to a country club. We're into voluntary simplicity. And as an organizer, I help people get rid of those ubiquitous catalogs that keep coming. (Visit catalogchoice.org to opt out of as many as you'd like at one time. It's a joint project of environmental organizations that include the Ecology Center in Berkeley.)

I was fantasizing about what a catalog might offer if it wasn't trying to seduce us into buying things we don't need, spending money we don't have and feeling badly about ourselves if we don't have all the stuff on those glossy pages. I don't think we realize how much we are affected by the bombardment of advertising. I was on the way to pick up my husband at work for a home-cooked meal when I heard one phrase on the radio -- Big Vinnie -- and the car detoured itself to Round Table for a pepperoni pizza. Honestly. I know that shows lack of control on my part, but it also illustrates the strength of branding on our purchasing habits. Can you see a red circle and not think of Target?

Anyway, I would love a catalog that offers free classes for boomers to increase the plasticity of their brains. Classes like "How to Play the Ukelele," "How to Learn to Juggle," "How to Figure Out How to Set Up the DVD/Fax/Scanner etc," "How to Keep Up with the Latest Trends on the Internet," "How to Find Old Friends," "How to Trace Your Ancestors," "How to Read Music," "How to Solve the Homeless Problem," or health or peace or planet problem. You get the idea. On the bright side, I just successfully completed my first Sudoku puzzle in the Chronicle. Right after I did the crossword puzzle. Thursday's my favorite right now.

Possibly with the growth of the Internet, catalogs will become a thing of the past, just like my country club days. Newspapers are certainly going that way. Young people mostly get their news from the Internet and I think it's only those of us who have the newspaper habit who still cling to that format. Things are changing and I need to be resiliant and embrace the changes. But I think I'll stick to my Chronicle crossword puzzle awhile longer.

Reasons to Get Organized Now

This is the first blog of the new year and I'm thinking of good reasons to get organized now. For one, there's the safety issue. If things have gotten a little out of control, getting organized will reduce risks for falls, will help eliminate germs and make it easier to find your exercise gear.

According to an article in the New York Times, many people think getting organized means buying the right storage containers, when the reality is that what is needed is to change your behavior. Some of the issues that contribute to the difficulty of getting organized include grief, chronic pain and depression. Some people even find it painful to part with any of their possessions. This can happen when people don't discriminate among their possessions but see them all as unique and a treasure. Sometimes they need help learning how to group, set priorities and discard to create a more harmonious space.

Peter Walsh, author of It's All Too Much, recommends playing the two bag tango game. Every day, fill one trash bag with trash and one with things to give away or sell. (And put out the trash and give away the items!) This is a gradual way to create more space and get more used to letting go of some things. Walsh recommends starting by getting a vision of how you want your home to look and then ask yourself, "Does this contribute to my vision or detract from it?"

I just worked with my daughter to create more order in her home and we had success by dividing the project up into zones -- top dresser drawer in her bedroom, junk drawer in the kitchen, bookshelves in the living room ... you get the picture. We tackled the projects one by one and she was much less overwhelmed and got more done than she expected to in one session.

So getting organized can lead to a safer, more comfortable environment and one where you will be free to pursue those creative projects you might not have had the energy to pursue while distracted by clutter.